For context, I (31F) met a (38M) through mutual friends and we hung out 5 times and went on 4 official dates. He came on very strong, really made me believe that he liked me and was very attracted to me, was calling me to set up dates, and said very sexually forward things to me, in a way that now feels like I was love bombed.
Long story short, I really believed this man was going to be my boyfriend for how safe and kind and interested he seemed (at first). It unravelled pretty fast and he finally ended things (after I called out how much his behavior had changed) by telling me he didn't feel a romantic connection, I'm great, and that we can be friends in a couple of months. I declined.
Because the physical relationship never got to the point where he could do all of the things he said he wanted to do me, it feels like deeply unfinished business. He's made himself so attractive by rejecting me, and it doesn't help that I was so attracted to him before as well. For months, I've felt insanely horny and angry and like I was led on. I feel even hornier now that it's over!
Last night at a dinner, I found out he was dating someone in June (the same time I saw him on Hinge lol) and it's making everything feel so much worse. I don't even know if they're still together but I can't stop picturing him physically with this imaginary girl and as if he's suddenly perfect, not pulling away, that he wouldn't do to her what he did to me, etc etc. And that she's getting all of the physical things that I didn't get.
Because we have mutual friends, I actually feel like I have to remove myself from the friend group a bit. I don't even care about seeing him or running into him, but knowing he has or will have a girlfriend literally just makes me feel awful.
I deeply regret trusting him, I regret letting him see me mostly naked, I regret making myself vulnerable, I regret believing that he even liked me. And it's actually like the more time I spend away from it, the more I regret it. But I am SO attracted to him and it feels so unfair that I have to be affected by this for months and he just gets to move on and date. Literally help.
